What is it?:  A floating hotel rigged to be a Mecca of pleasure at sea.  Offering options that land based casinos can’t touch with a 10 foot pole.  A joint venture of the Tampa Bay Gambling and Pleasure Club, The Tampa Bay Youth Science Club, the Life’s a Gamble podcast and a group of private investors that range from classy to trashy.  The pleasure cruise will be largely a casino offering the types of gambling that are too high or too low for regulated land based casinos.  On demand table games with the most generous rules with limits based on the current clientele.  Blackjack, craps, roulette, baccarat, pai gow, anything the player wants.  A true Vegas style sports book, some poker tables (lower rake than any casino) and a dining area make up the rest of the top floor.  The middle two floors feature a mix of private rooms and social space and will feature prostitution catered to the highest and lowest budgets.  Also these rooms can be rented for you to enjoy any substances that you may have brought with you from the mainland.  To avoid being shelled by the DEA the pleasure cruise does not sell any substances that would be illegal in Florida.  But at the same time we will NOT be searching any patrons for anything but weapons.  We don’t care what you bring on, besides weapons.  You and your money are safe here but we must insist like a broken record, no weapons.

pleasure cruise

For a number of reasons all rooms aboard the ship rent by the hour.  The bottom deck of the ship features the lowest of the low.  Cockfighting,  shooting dice, Vietnamese betting on other Vietnamese guys playing Russian Roulette like in Deer Hunter (using OUR weapons), Muay Thai death matches, other sleazy eastern gambling that white people can’t comprehend and broom closets for rent by the hour with only room for a small dank cot.  Onboard staff are willing to lie to your spouse about where you are for an additional fee.  Also on board are the experts in several fields including medicine, law, the paranormal, sex, gambling instruction, gambling addiction, music and small engine repair.  If you die, you’re immediately tossed over, unless a prepaid plan is in place.  Options include being tossed over more humanely, being tossed over in a makeshift casket, a gamblers funeral with guest speaker, or for the extremely rich you’re body can be taken back ashore.  Anyone selecting this option agrees that they died fishing, on somebody else’s fucking boat.  We never met you.  The top deck features extensive pigeon coops for pigeon racing.  The pigeons are taken to points on land and raced back to the ship with live betting.  The top deck also features the world’s best outdoor full nude full contact strip club.  From 1/3 to 1/2 of the top deck is covered to remain useful in rainy weather.  Patrons will take either our own courtesy shuttles or private vessels to reach the pleasure cruise.  Our courtesy shuttles make several daily round trips from the pleasure cruise to Pinellas County beaches.

More details on the Pleasure Cruise and a gofundme with extremely generous rewards coming the the next few weeks.

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